In this soap opera of a chapter, David’s oldest son Amnon falls in love with his half-sister Tamar, loses control, and rapes her. Tamar’s brother Absalom (Amnon’s half-brother) plots revenge, because David did nothing to punish Amnon.
“After two full years… Absalom invited all the king’s sons… Then Absalom commanded his servants, ‘Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, “Strike Amnon,” then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.’ So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.” (v23,28-29)
There are several points in this account where David could have intervened with his children, and potentially saved Amnon’s life. Yet, for one reason or another, David practices avoidance quite well and doesn’t engage with his children, leaving them to figure things out on their own (which they obviously don’t do very well).
Scripture encourages us to have an active role in raising children (both biological children, and spiritual ones). “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Pro 22:6) “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph 6:1,4) “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Heb 12:11)
I’m not trying to say David was a bad parent, though there are some tips we can learn from his example, and other scriptures that will certainly help us on our journeys. As we mentor literal children or spiritual children, let’s allow the Bible and the Holy Spirit to guide us, and pray God will do the rest. No matter how closely we follow God’s word, the person/people we mentor still have free will, which is why we need to rely on the Spirit to till the fertile soil of their heart, so God’s teaching can take root and flourish.
Father God, our Good, Good Father, honorable and praiseworthy is Your name. Thank you for the many examples of godly parenting in scripture. Thank you for the gift of Your Spirit who will guide us through difficult times in life. Thank you for partnering with us directly, and through the church community, to help raise our next generations in Your ways, so when they’re older, they will raise up the generations after them. We honor, praise, worship and thank You, forever and ever, amen.
~ Conqueror in Training